Jewish Crop Circles....

Jewish Crop Circles, the Continuing Saga of the Vast Jewish Conspiracy
- by Gerbeel Haamster

Hello My Brothers In Islam. Rejoice, for it is I, Gerbeel Haamster, Esteemed Servant of Allah Most Blessed and Munificent and His Prophet Muhammad (pbuh).

I address my brothers in arms (specifically those with the sacred AK-47s) from my icy mountaintop, here in Canada - soon to be the Islamic Republic of Kanadaamn.

My first Pronouncement is thus: The evil Joooooos have been making crop circles in my field of pot.

Now... for you folk down there in Meigs County, who don't think it is possible to grow pot in Canada (Oh blessed Kanadaamn - Yesssss, oh brothers, it shall verily be!), let me tell you that we do just fine between the field and the basement, all thanks and praise be to Allah.

Oh brothers, remember as the Hadith says: "... Oh ye who believe, be sure and set up the grow lights in the basement with your left hand only."

Now, continuing my Pronouncement: Yes, brothers, it is not the Aliens, nor the Baptists who are responsible for the veritable spate of globe-wide crop circles, but the evil Joooooos. They are holding their evil, pagan rituals, complete with folk songs and campfire sing-a-longs and they have been holding them in my field of pot!

We must battle them, oh brothers. We must cut them down with the sacred AK-47s, like the "despicable desecrating demons of decadent debauchery"* that they are!

*(Quote is courtesy of arabsandalliteration.com)

Oh brothers (pbuy and byob), I pray only for the peace of Islam, and the bullets that accompany it (along with a few good hits - man that shit is soooooo good that my toes are buzzed...).

I must go now, brothers, and quickly. For even with my forehead to the ground I feel them coming - and, oh noooooo, brothers.... I also hear the sound of their dreadful mandolins....

Salaam salami, ...and peace too, by the non-existent grace of Allah, most munificent and in the name of His Blessed Prophet, and sometime pedophile, Muhammed (pbuh + byob).

Sincerely,

The Gerbeel One (pbume+byob)